Hello, moviegoers! I know you missed my awesome movie reviews, so here I am another film! This review should not be considered a regular one, however, b want to think it is a warning to prevent uncautious people from making the s mistake I made and watching this garbage.
I believe myself unable to command the English language with proficency enou convey just how awful this film is, but for the good of humanity I will try
Robot Holocaust's sorry excuse of a plot takes place after the Robots rebel humanity, enslave us and take control of the planet. In order to operate the production facilities, robots keep human slaves working day and night, feedi power plants. It order to ensure the humans can't rebel, the robots control slaves breath. They have the power to supply or deny fresh air to the worker thoughts of rebellion are impossible, until some underground scientist and h daughter create some technoawesome implants that allow humans to survive wit air. When the robots learn this, they capture the scientist and hold him for interrogation. It is up to a bunch of human misfits to sneak into the fortre Dark Master, the supreme AI, and save him or die trying.
It looks like a good enough plot for a B-Movie, doesn't it? That is just wha thought myself. Let s see what went wrong.
For starters, the screenplay development is so badly done you'd think the fi were all from Italy. They can't convey the core plot points via screenplay, resort to exposition infodumps. I am not against infodumps as a matter of pr for example, Star Wars would drop an infodump at the begining of each movie story going - but the issue here is it is obvious they need to dump the info the unsuspecting viewer every three minutes because they can't figure a way us core information on the go.
This translates in many scenes in which we get voiceovers explaining things have been self-explanatory with proper planning. For example, if your Sci-fi mutants and you want to elaborate on the nature of the mutants, you have two for conveying the idea. The first one is to casually introduce the subject i scene before mutants are encountered, posssibly via some dialog ("I am scare place. My uncle told me there are mutants about. They were all radiated by T and turned into cannibalistic monsters!") The second one is to just throw th at the heroes as soon as they enter the forest and have a narrator tell the "There were mutants in the forest".
I hesitate to classify the acting as atrocious, because I fail to see any ac this movie. I have not done any research, but I feel tempted to bet many of and actresses had never participated in a film in which they were all dresse boinking each other before.
Robot Holocaust tries to capture the athmosphere of Sword and Sorcery movies cyberpunk twist. Robots and mutants are torn asunder by barbarians wielding swords. It could have worked if the scenery and the customes didn't look pur some post-carnival sale in which retailers were trying to get rid of all the that hadn't been sold because they were so fucking bad. The sword fighting w atrociously filmed, and the mutant monstruosities were so cheaply made I dou spent more than ten bucks on the whole thing.
All in all, the only Holocaust in this movie is the one you will get if you this over mainstream media and have people watch it. I guarantee most of the population will commit suicide two minutes into the film, not because of the watching the movie itself but because of the pain of knowing the Universe is dark place that the laws of physics allow movies like this to be a possibili
Don't watch. You have been warned.
--
gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
This sounds like a movie you would like to turn off your brain and enjoy.
[...] I guarantee most of the population will commit
suicide two minutes into the film, not because of the pain
of watching the movie itself but because of the pain of
knowing the Universe is such a dark place that the laws of
physics allow movies like this to be a possibility.
Don't watch. You have been warned.
Glad to know that you survived the temptation to off yourself.
It would be a great loss if we didn't get these hilarious
reviews.
Ogg wrote to Arelor <=-
of watching the movie itself but because of the pain of
knowing the Universe is such a dark place that the laws of
physics allow movies like this to be a possibility.
Arelor wrote to Ogg <=-
Somebody has to suffer in order to warn everybody else against bad
movies. I guess I have to take the bullet.
Some government should be paying me because I am performing public service.
"I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to
do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie
good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world
where the stars don't shine."
Ogg wrote to Arelor <=-
of watching the movie itself but because of the pain of
knowing the Universe is such a dark place that the laws of
physics allow movies like this to be a possibility.
Sounds like Roger Ebert's review of "The Human Centipede", and I quote:
"I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to
do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie
good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world
where the stars don't shine."
We already have Hollywood, we need a Bad Movie Capitol.
Re: Re: Robot Holocaust (1987)
By: poindexter FORTRAN to Arelor on Fri Mar 03 2023 06:16 am
We already have Hollywood, we need a Bad Movie Capitol.
I think Bollywood used to take the role of Bad Movie Industrial Production Centre, but if you ask me, I have the feeling Hollywood is trying very hard snatch the title from their hands.
--
gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
I think Bollywood used to take the role of Bad Movie Industrial Production Centre, but if you ask me, I have the feeling Hollywood is trying very hardo
snatch the title from their hands.
I think Bollywood used to take the role of Bad Movie Industrial Production Centre, but if you ask me, I have the feeling Hollywood is trying very hardo
snatch the title from their hands.
The last few Indian movies I watched were really quite good.
Bollywood has been producing some higher end films as of late. The last couple of Korean films i saw had higher production values, except I'm not sure if it was due to poor overdubbing or if it was poor placement for the comic relief characters.
Arelor wrote to poindexter FORTRAN <=-
See, this friday I watched a movie expecting it to be bad, and it was actually quite good. I felt so disappointed XD
Re: Re: Robot Holocaust (1987
By: Arelor to poindexter FORTRAN on Sun Mar 05 2023 07:20 am
Re: Re: Robot Holocaust (1987)
By: poindexter FORTRAN to Arelor on Fri Mar 03 2023 06:16 am
We already have Hollywood, we need a Bad Movie Capitol.
I think Bollywood used to take the role of Bad Movie Industrial Productio Centre, but if you ask me, I have the feeling Hollywood is trying very ha snatch the title from their hands.
--
gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
Bollywood has been producing some higher end films as of late. The last couple of Korean films i saw had higher production values, except I'm not sure if it was due to poor overdubbing or if it was poor placement for the comic relief characters.
I saw two Russian films that were done well. One was story about Mikhial Ka shnikov and the other was called A Tank for Stalin. Both were historic dramas, a struggle between the little guy versus the larger powers that be.
---
þ Synchronet þ The Cave BBS - Since 1992 - cavebbs.homeip.net
I think Bollywood used to take the role of Bad Movie Industrial Production Centre, but if you ask me, I have the feeling Hollywood is trying very haro
snatch the title from their hands.
The last few Indian movies I watched were really quite good.
* SLMR 2.1a * Tongue-tied & twisted, just an Earth-bound misfit, I!
---
þ Synchronet þ CAPCITY2 * capcity2.synchro.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/Rlogin/HTT
The last few Indian movies I watched were really quite good.
I agree. Eega and the Bhaahubali ones were great \o/
I suspect I have typoed there very hard, heh.
Re: Re: Robot Holocaust (1987
By: Moondog to Arelor on Sun Mar 05 2023 07:50 pm
Re: Re: Robot Holocaust (1987
By: Arelor to poindexter FORTRAN on Sun Mar 05 2023 07:20 am
Re: Re: Robot Holocaust (1987)
By: poindexter FORTRAN to Arelor on Fri Mar 03 2023 06:16 am
We already have Hollywood, we need a Bad Movie Capitol.
I think Bollywood used to take the role of Bad Movie Industrial Produc Centre, but if you ask me, I have the feeling Hollywood is trying very snatch the title from their hands.
--
gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
Bollywood has been producing some higher end films as of late. The last couple of Korean films i saw had higher production values, except I'm not sure if it was due to poor overdubbing or if it was poor placement for th comic relief characters.
I saw two Russian films that were done well. One was story about Mikhial shnikov and the other was called A Tank for Stalin. Both were historic dramas, a struggle between the little guy versus the larger powers that b
---
þ Synchronet þ The Cave BBS - Since 1992 - cavebbs.homeip.net
I tend to agree. I happen to like many asian pieces better than current American cinema. Korean neo-noirs are quite fine. Their epics are also quite fine. Best of all, they lack all the Western political crap Hollywood is try to bundle with everything. A number of people I have met online is actively rejecting American cultural material in favor of Asian material for that rea alone. Go figure.
I have no experience with Russian cinema, but I have watched some mystery an detective pieces from Eastern Europe and they were ok (not great).
--
gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
Re: Re: Robot Holocaust (1987
By: Dumas Walker to ARELOR on Sun Mar 05 2023 06:39 pm
I think Bollywood used to take the role of Bad Movie Industrial Product Centre, but if you ask me, I have the feeling Hollywood is trying veryo
snatch the title from their hands.
The last few Indian movies I watched were really quite good.
* SLMR 2.1a * Tongue-tied & twisted, just an Earth-bound misfit, I!
---
þ Synchronet þ CAPCITY2 * capcity2.synchro.net * Telnet/SSH:2022/Rlogin/
I agree. Eega and the Bhaahubali ones were great \o/
I suspect I have typoed there very hard, heh.
--
gopher://gopher.richardfalken.com/1/richardfalken
Quoting Poindexter Fortran to Arelor <=-
I grew up watching a lot of UHF TV. We had a couple of local channels
that played campy films, obtained at a low cost by these stations with
low budgets. One played bad films until dawn on the weekends.
Quoting Poindexter Fortran to Arelor <=-
I grew up watching a lot of UHF TV. We had a couple of local channels that played campy films, obtained at a low cost by these stations with low budgets. One played bad films until dawn on the weekends.
When I grew up, the television stations played the national anthem
at midnight, then up came a test pattern for a few minutes, then
static until 6AM.
Then they played the the pledge of allegiance and back to the
morning shows.
Guess I'm showing my age. Now the things that overstimulate your
mind keep going 24 hours a day. And forget the national anthem, you
won't hear that.
Cougar
... I yam ehav tlsedet ni spgpinhi.
___ Blue Wave/QWK v2.20
Quoting Poindexter Fortran to Arelor <=-
I grew up watching a lot of UHF TV. We had a couple of local channels that played campy films, obtained at a low cost by these stations with low budgets. One played bad films until dawn on the weekends.
When I grew up, the television stations played the national anthem
at midnight, then up came a test pattern for a few minutes, then
static until 6AM.
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